I had started two (2) blogs, one on the now defunct i.ph platform, and this one. I could have just folded both into one, seeing that both are unfocused. This prevented both from gaining any traction, and just dampened any desire on my end to write more. Without encouragement, I had simply stopped writing. It would seem that the stream of consciousness style (or random, uninteresting musings written pretentiously) does not have an audience large enough to live off of.
I was younger then, and had dreams of creating multiple passive income streams, I wanted that sweet, sweet Adsense money. Unfortunately, I was younger and infinitely more foolish. Money, is a carrier of value, the previous owner parts with it in exchange for something that he or she views is of the same or similar value. People (or rather large corporations running online ad campaigns) will not part with their money if a) they see no value in your work, and b) if you have nothing to show in the first place.
A family member and I recently spoke, the main take away of that discussion was that in certain societies, i.e., the US, you had to "put yourself out there". In our country, you have to not only be a "good" worker, but also someone who shies away from appearing too aggressive - I blame centuries of subjugation for that. The effect of this is encourage an employee, rather than an entrepreneur's or creator's, mentality. Go to school, get a degree, find a good job, that was the path. It gave "security" but rarely satisfaction.
My country is now entering half a year in lockdown. I had converted one corner of the house into an ersatz studio for videoconferencing, an old Samsung Galaxy into a webcam for Zoom, and a Pentium laptop into a productivity powerhouse. I had been using these to create value for my employer, but rarely to create for myself.
I have had enough, I want to break free from this cycle of consumption, and transform into a creator. Even simply hammering out my thoughts, even if to others it makes no sense, is a form of artistry. Previously, I had written about catharsis in an old post. I hope to achieve that same feeling again by writing.
And of course, get some of that sweet, sweet Adsense money.
