Looking back

I had reason to go poking about for my online history. I stumbled back to this "blog", which now seems quaint when comparing it with the content creators of this day and age.

I had started two (2) blogs, one on the now defunct i.ph platform, and this one. I could have just folded both into one, seeing that both are unfocused. This prevented both from gaining any traction, and just dampened any desire on my end to write more. Without encouragement, I had simply stopped writing. It would seem that the stream of consciousness style (or random, uninteresting musings written pretentiously) does not have an audience large enough to live off of. 

I was younger then, and had dreams of creating multiple passive income streams, I wanted that sweet, sweet Adsense money. Unfortunately, I was younger and infinitely more foolish. Money, is a carrier of value, the previous owner parts with it in exchange for something that he or she views is of the same or similar value. People (or rather large corporations running online ad campaigns) will not part with their money if a) they see no value in your work, and b) if you have nothing to show in the first place. 

A family member and I recently spoke, the main take away of that discussion was that in certain societies, i.e., the US, you had to "put yourself out there". In our country, you have to not only be a "good" worker, but also someone who shies away from appearing too aggressive - I blame centuries of subjugation for that. The effect of this is  encourage an employee, rather than an entrepreneur's or creator's, mentality. Go to school, get a degree, find a good job, that was the path. It gave "security" but rarely satisfaction. 

My country is now entering half a year in lockdown. I had converted one corner of the house into an ersatz studio for videoconferencing, an old Samsung Galaxy into a webcam for Zoom, and a Pentium laptop into a productivity powerhouse. I had been using these to create value for my employer, but rarely to create for myself. 

I have had enough, I want to break free from this cycle of consumption, and transform into a creator. Even simply hammering out my thoughts, even if to others it makes no sense, is a form of artistry. Previously, I had written about catharsis in an old post. I hope to achieve that same feeling again by writing. 

And of course, get some of that sweet, sweet Adsense money.

Catharsis/Cathartic

A little over 8 years ago I met someone whom I consider a good friend. Somewhat morose, but otherwise level-headed. In perhaps the greatest adventure of our young lives, we set off to China.

Over the course of our stay in China we got to know the rest of the group better. This friend of mine told me, with his tongue loosened by alcohol, that he found it cathartic to run (in the rain, naked, or both I could not for the life of me recall which one). I, out of pride, and not wanting to appear ignorant quietly agreed. The rest of our stay was lively and eventful for we had seen and learned so much about ourselves and the world in so short a time. We had gotten drunk more times than we cared to admit, and usually from Tsing-Tao which was sold in the school cafeteria. We discovered what true friendship tasted like and it tasted like blood. I credit him for more than half a decade's consumption of cigarettes, as he, having drunken himself into a stupor, again managed to occupy one of our beds. Thus, I went out and lit one of his cigarettes in turn. Another friend of ours during that time remarked that we might no longer be friends upon our return to the homeland.

He was right.

We were a motley crew from varying age groups and backgrounds. We would find little to no time to see each other despite all of us going to the same school.

I gradually lost contact with all of them. Thankfully, facebook arrived and most of us were able to keep in touch with one another.

Fast forward to the present day, I decided to open my old e-mail account. As I sifted through spam e-mails, twitter and facebook notifications, e-newsletters, I felt a wave of relief passing over, flowing into, and pouring out of me. It was at that point I understood the meaning of catharsis. I felt, after ransacking the contents of my inbox for anything meaningful, as if a great burden had been lifted from me. I recalled all my blunders and victories, and how sweet it was to be alive.

I want to read again.

I need to get back to reading things. Not just reading to while away the time, but reading to grow. Reading in the can hasn't been a good exercise for me. It doesn't allow for more introspection or imagination. The mind wanders from the task at hand when you have to poop. You can't read well when you are rushing to get to the office.

I want to read again. To read and absorb all of that author-y goodness. I believe that I won't be able to fully "suck out all the marrow of life", but by God through books I will feel as if I did.

I want to read the whole maddening array of books. I want to dive right into life entombed in ink and paper. I feel as if I have to explore the book store, with the world laying spread eagle in front of me.

In reading, I feel that I am everywhere and nowhere at once. I might be beside Tom Sawyer as he is figuring out a way to handle the Herculean task of whitewashing the fence. In another moment I might be discovering the word to describe the movement of the rich from the city's innards to the suburbs and back again.

I think all of us should read. The act of reading and the art of reading closely should not be limited to books or the "classics". We should extend these powers to all forms of our written tradition. I believe that the art of reading closely should likewise be extended to all forms of art. We should notice something that is there but is not apparent.

However, this is reading for the sake of reading. The end goal being the enjoyment and nourishment of the mind and spirit. Reading as a preparatory step of acting is a wholly different manner. That would require actual movement on the part of the reader. Reading a text book on how to speak Spanish or Japanese requires that the reader converse with someone knowledgeable in that language.

Reading, for me, is still a very important part of being human. Let us not forget it in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of our society.

Tweeting and writing

Does twitter have an effect on how we write?

I've read on how text messaging has affected the ability to write negatively. Also, oddly enough, you could find views online that the effects are generally positive.

I would understand that texting would severely affect the writing style of people, but how about tweeting? It's essentially the same thing, but with a wider audience. Instead of communicating one-on-one, as in text messaging, you broadcast your tweet to the world. Would tweeting have an effect on how we think and how write?

I'm going to read up some more and try to write something more coherent next time.

Amaze-Balls!

I have recently "re-discovered" the value of reading people's blogs.

They get to show you the wonders of them Internetz.

Take for example, this one. This basically covers a whole swath of topics needed for everyday Manila life. From insightful market reports to tips and tricks on how to survive the commute home, it's a refreshing take on things.

Another example, from the same author, is the Track Beauty of the Week posts.

Blogs like the examples above show how varied the interests of a person are, and how infinitely interesting people can get. So read up and meet up would be my take away for this one.

Sweeney Todd tried to pull a fast one on me.

I went to the local barbershop to get shaved. Unfortunately, the barber turned my face into sisig parts instead. I am now in the market for a good electric shaver/ beard trimmer. I've read online that electric shavers aren't meant to be used on longish hair so that might be a problem. I'm just looking at the Braun Series 1 shaver and the Braun Cruzer trimmer.

Both are inordinately expensive, especially when you compare them with the undying Gillette Rubie 2.

Decisions, decisions.

Building Capital

I was stuck in the field the whole day last Friday, so I couldn't get to work on my savings. I really would like to build my capital first and find ways to earn more. If this undertaking (saving and investing) has taught me one thing, it is patience.

Building capital through working happens only twice a month. So I'm really, really thinking of how to grow it faster (but not too fast as that might mean a whole boatload of risk). Oh well, until next payday then.

Cheapskate meals

I have tried to live a non-financially dependent life since the beginning of my existence as a cog in the great machine. I would describe my day-to-day activities, in terms of Pesos spent, as miserly.

It would be best to define what I think a cheapskate meal is: it's basically any meal (lunch or dinner) below 100 Pesos.

Today however, was an exception. I actually spent around 300 Pesos (200 on Food 100 on the cab ride).

I wanted to talk about the food. I was surprised at how Pizza Hut has now become a viable alternative to the Jollijeeps that are scattered in Makati, the innumerable fast food chains, and building housed food courts. Thanks to Google Search for coming up with this blog that served as the source for the image of a jollijeep.

Pizza Hut has a 99 Peso meal for 1 and a 198 for 2 with an additional serving of garlic bread. Let me be clear, the food was good but it won't blow you away. What surprised me aside from the awesome price was the fact that they served it ten minutes or less. So Pizza Hut instead of being a pizza place has now transformed into a quick lunch or dinner place. And at 99 Pesos per person only too! Needless to say my co-worker and I spent an additional 100 or so for some more food.

Another place that I found interesting was Blessings & Prosperity a food court along Ayala Avenue. It's a very small, cramped space, with Lilliputian seating too boot. I have been there only once however, and would like to visit again just for the wonderful Mexican themed kiosk there. It was a good meal at around 90 Pesos it seems expensive but its good nonetheless.

The other places I've been to in Makati wouldn't really qualify as cheapskate dining. So that means I'll have to explore that jungle of concrete for more cheapskate nooks.

Financial Magic!

By next week I would have embarked into another great adventure.

As I am currently living and breathing like an employee (I look forward to the 2nd and 4th week). I would like to not spend all of my hard earned money by buying something mundane. Sure I might spend a little to watch a show or eat at a nice place, but I wouldn't want to immediately blow all of my money on a material thing. Experiences, for me, occupy a different rung on the hierarchy of needs.

Moving on, I intend to plunk down my cash into fancy financial thingamajigs that the banks and other institutions are currently offering. I might not be able to invest, yes I like stressing that word, anything beyond the minimum participation but then everyone has to start somewhere.

I am considering investing in those Mutual Funds and UITFs just to get a feel for it. I don't foresee any pressing need for me to draw on the funds I will put in anytime soon. So I intend to let it rot there and see if it makes me some more money.

I have read some of the literature on the topic and it seems that there will be risks but I also noticed, in my limited learning, that if you invest in it long enough the risks can and will be absorbed by the gains.

Decisions, decisions.

I'll make a follow up post about it next week.

A Culture of Integrity

It seems that integrity, or the lack thereof, can make or break your enterprise and your person.

Read this article in the NY Times Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs.

As a slave to a gigantic machine I feel the same way as the author. Luckily for me, my first month and a half can still be considered the honey moon phase of my work. I'll write more on this later, so read up!

Globe: The Starscream of Telecoms?

Dear Globe Telecom:

Good evening!

I am writing about you in the dead of night because your unreliable internet connection is making me think of switching over to smart.

Unfortunately for me, your stick came free with my trusty laptop. Fortunately for you, it bothers me to carry my laptop downstairs to plug it into the ultra-reliable PLDT DSL connection (compared to your service).

Should SMART offer me a free internet stick/dongle/thingamabob with the assurance that it can and will provide me a reliable and fast connection I will drop you in a heartbeat.

I have been a Globe subscriber for the past 12 or 13 years. You haven't given me free stuff (aside from that overpriced Moto RAZR). My old Globe Sim has turned from a pleasing blue to a swam in the toilet yellow. I don't think I even know you anymore Globe.

Sincerely,

A Subscriber

Things that I would like to have

Speaking of desire.

Here's a link to the Sony Experia S, something that I am thinking of getting for myself.

Either that or a nice leather bag for all my "important" documents.

The Sony Experia S is still listed as coming soon as you'll see if you checked it out. Thanks to a scoop by TechLokal's Alora we have a ballpark figure of PhP28,500 for it. I'll wait for the reviews before going all crazy for it.

Alas, for the bag I do think that a Bally bag is still way too much for me, but it's just so serious looking. It would look great for those Florsheim shoes I got for, wait for it, PhP 2,300, yes that is correct, down from PhP8,800.

Oh well let's wait for the next payday and hope for the best.

Boredom and Desire

There are fewer combinations more dangerous than boredom and desire.

I would like to propose that boredom be defined as the feeling of despondency that a person has when he or she does not do anything productive. Desire should be defined as the feeling of wanting something that one does not have.

So boredom is when you do not do anything useful and desire is when you want something that you don't have.

A person bored is a person who has nothing to do. The longer a bored person remains bored the harder it would be to get him to do something useful. Boredom begets boredom. It usually takes a vigorous invitation from friends to break this cycle of boredom (a symptom of a deeper problem called laziness)

Thus a bored person has more time to be bored than the normal not bored person. It means that he has more time to ruminate on his desires, (the things, position, status or prestige he does not have).

The more time spent on desiring instead of actually getting increases the discomfort of a bored person. He is made to face demons he cannot conquer (because he is lounging about and not doing anything about them).

A New Post and New Books.

Today, I will write on my blog because of extreme boredom.

Various forms of social media have interfered with my ability to write on my blog. So now I am attempting to form a coherent set of sentences in order to rid myself of boredom.

I have managed to amass several (and by several I mean two) new books. One book has been with me since last year by Jean-Jacques Rousseau entitled The Social Contract. I haven't read it yet, as I claim that I do not have time. The other book is Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville. I just feel that having things to read aside from work stuff helps round out the entirety of my being.

Despite this view of mine I still buy books that will make me look smart, shallow human that I am.

I'll try to write again soon.

Something to leave humanity

I have spent much thought on nothing recently. However, these countless hours were not wasted at all. I have recently proven to myself that there is indeed a desire to leave humanity with something great and grand.

There is a hunger in all of humanity to leave something great and grand. It may not necessarily be good in the usual sense, but in the eyes of the one who left it it may be good. Take for example genocide, it's not really "good" and in fact falls in the category of "morally reprehensible" but for those who have committed it, especially for those who planned it and ordered it, it may be good. Thus some people continue to do what are widely considered innately evil things, with a possible view that such acts are in fact good and will better humanity in the long run.

This now takes me back to what I want to do.

I just want to leave a legacy that will make all the university students go "that's someone who I want to be." I want to leave this world smiling and leave the world something to smile about as well. In the past I was able to witness several of my school's distinguished alumni entering the hallowed halls to discuss something important with the dean. I was joking around with a friend that ten maybe twenty years from now students will see us walk through that entrance and say "napaka-corrupt niya." We were making light of the situation but this is what normally happens to people who aspire to be "great", they end chasing paper instead of their dreams. So I'm pretty sure I don't want to fall down the wayside while I'm looking for something to give to the human race.

Several years prior to that day, I was back in college, I was having my final examination in Organizational Behavior. I kept blabbering on what I wanted to be, my teacher Father Candelaria, S.J., cut me off and said "you have what most college students have, a goal, but you do not have a plan." He continued to expound on what the problem with that is. I still remember that room in the Jesuit Residence to this day.

Still, I have no plan on how to become great, just the goal of becoming great and leaving the future generations with something. That's still a step in the right direction I think. More later.

Updating device drivers and Globe Tattoo

I can't really blame Globe. It just happens to the best of us, what more with a choppy network that's undergoing servicing? Besides, I was downloading a 110MB file.

I was trying to update the device drivers for my video card. Seeing that it is having problems running some programs (i.e. Left 4 dead), I decided to update the drivers. Lo and behold I had to update Java too, that took me 20 minutes (because of the disconnecting, reconnecting wasting 5 pesos-ing). After updating my Java Runtime environment I had to do the scan with Nvidia. It told me to download this 186 file so okay I downloaded it. Wonder of wonders it's 110MB big!

110MB in the age of DSL and Cable and what have you is a minuscule file. You can download that in a few minutes. Unfortunately, for a wireless broadband user like myself I have to bear with the frequent disconnections that occur and the slow speed. So I decided to wait for an hour and a half. 50 minutes into the download firefox tells me that the source file cannot be read. What the hell does that mean? I'm 58% done with the damn thing! So I have to close the download and just blog about another experience with wireless. :(

On top of all that, I'm using tattoo prepaid. So every time I connect I automatically spend 5 Pesos for 15 minutes. I stay connected for an hour or more that's 20 pesos already. I only have 70 pesos left.

I had written two paragraphs worth of text before posting this. Globe decided to disconnect as I was posting it. No draft was saved... Wonderful. I love it!

FINISHED!

I'm done with school! Hopefully not dead done. Just done until the next semester comes done.

I'm going to write about big government and why it's so scary with what's currently going around.

Public Office is a Public Trust as the 1987 Constitution puts it. Government is there to serve the people and be accountable to the people. There would be no government were it not for the people's will.
I recently had my car registered in one of the LTO branches. Though, the current service is not something I could pick on, there was still a palpable air of corruption hanging around. The LTO was ranked as one of the least corrupt government agencies, as it so states in LTO TV. I spent just an hour in the LTO. You just have to have the complete set of papers at hand.
Government can work efficiently if it chooses to. However, as I mentioned there was still a stink of corruption hanging about. In one of my classes, it was said that corruption is good because it means progress. There are people who can pay the officials off to facilitate things. In my opinion this is generally true, but if the government will be more pervasive then I think that progress will be restricted.

As I was exiting the office along with my aunt the stencil guy came over and was asking something. I didn't pay any attention to him knowing that he'll just be seeking a reward. It is his job to go on the ground and stencil my car's body number. Why should I pay him more for services he'll already be paid for.

It would be okay to pay if you got some additional benefit from his services. If for example you're assured of a 30-1 hour waiting time for the release of your registration why pay more when you can wait it out? The release time will be the same anyway. The attitude of the stencil guy is what makes me afraid of Philippine government getting bigger. If I'm supposed to pay all the government officials or employees I encounter for something that they're supposed to do, then I might as well not register any vehicle, any business or any property. If I do register with them and I have to pay off each and every employee at every step of the way then what'll be left for me?

I have no qualms about Big Government. The main problem right now as espoused by my father is the fractured system brought about by the Local Government Code. Instead of the LGUs coordinating with each other, each one is trying to do something they're not good at and end up stunting the whole region. Every barangay, municipality, city and province will be trying to outdo each other, instead of coordinating their development plans and goals each will be competing with one another and each will be implementing their own ordinances that would cause great confusion with transients and residents alike. There must be some form of central plan that will not leave the LGUs room to be at odds with each other. One LGU must be a residential area and it must maintain roads and railways on its end, at the other side of the border another LGU must maintain the roads and railways on its end matching the effort by the other LGU.

Take a look at all the infrastructure laid out in communist countries. The streets are wide, the parks spacious and green and the landmarks imposing. Look at our roads, railways, parks and landmarks? Ours are pockmarked with neglect.

Another drawback with big government will be the time it takes to get things done. If with the current system you find that it's taking too long, imagine if you have to centralize everything. Again if you're going to have to pay people off, having a centralized system means that fewer people to go through although it will take longer because not everyone might get a piece of the pie they feel they deserve. Further government intrusion and regulation into the daily lives of the public will expose the people to more chances of being extorted.

Big government will be inefficient and clumsy. The current system was meant to meet the needs of the citizens in a given locality. Having a central body responding to the needs of the people even in far flung areas will greatly increase reaction time. Having to project their presence through several thousand kilometers where they might not have enough resources ready will slow down a government agencies ability to react to contingencies. A possible solution to this would be putting people on the ground.

Which leads to my last point (hopefully not) on the matter. A quote I keep hearing whenever I play civilization IV is "The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy". It means that as government involvement expands so too must the mechanisms that government employs. If an agency will employ an additional 10000 people then that additional 10000 people will have 10000 people's worth of files in the CSC, GSIS and other agencies that they will be forced to go through before being able to work for the government. It would create a very unwieldy apparatus for running the country. It will strain government resources that could have been diverted to other projects.

Going small and fractured versus going big and clumsy will each have its concomitant pros and cons. Though there is no pending legislation or action anywhere to change the system I think it would be best to give a second to the idea of changing the apparatus.

Finisihed well not quite

I'm almost done with my most punishing semester to date!

23 Units!

Thesis Proposal and Outline and Adviser Form!

I'm almost done just have to print out the thesis hopefully the printer downstairs will work! :)

Congratulations to those who deserve it!

Noteworthy mentions!


Algaventures winners of the Cartier Women's Initiative Awards

who is elyoo

Congratulations!

Thesis Writing is for the Dogs!

I'm having a horrible time writing a thesis proposal. It's due on Monday. Today is Saturday. I have to look for a thesis adviser who can read it on Sunday and sign off on Monday. Damn it!

I never really made a thesis. Back in college all I ever did was do business plans, proposals, case studies etc. But nothing as exhaustive as a thesis. Business plans required a huge information gathering effort but most of the sources you'd need are current sources from the internet. In a thesis I have to hit the library, look for old laws and what not. All my prior works have been more on the side of breadth instead of depth. Thesis writing might involve both!

Thesis writing is for the dogs!